


Letters to Seungcheol

by psychoticauthor (pschotichauthor)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Drama, Gen, Letters, Regret
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-03-02 16:46:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13322337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pschotichauthor/pseuds/psychoticauthor
Summary: After hitting the stardom, the members felt that other opportunities have opened up for them and dreams are begging to be chased. This is a collection of letters that the members sent to their leader before they left, years after they left, letters of their freshly debut selves, etc. Just about anything that contains their feelings towards their Sun, their leader, Choi Seungcheol.





	1. Lee Chan, age 29

January 09, 2027

New York, NY 10023, USA

 

Dear Seungcheol-hyung:

Hello! This is Chan. I’m writing this letter to you to update you about my adventures here in the United States. I’ve been accepted at The Julliard School after more than two years of trying! Finally, right?

Hyung, no matter how many times you try to reject my calls and not reply to my letters, I will still send you voice messages and post cards. I will still try to reach out to you. It’s my fault and I acknowledge that, and I’m sorry for leaving Seventeen. Am I also the reason why Hoshi-hyung and Vernon-hyung left? Am I to blame for breaking our group apart? Hyung, I don’t know anymore.

Every night I dream of you and how you tried to grab my hand when I was leaving the dorm. I had a dream of you screaming my name and telling me not to go. I had a dream that one day we met at the airport then I tried to talk to you but you ignored me. I woke up that time, I was sweating. I was afraid, lonely, regretful. I asked myself if running after this dream of mine was wrong. Was I wrong for wanting to keep on learning how to dance? Hyung, please, tell me, was I wrong?

I want to hear it from you, Cheol-hyung. I want you to curse at me, get mad at me, anything. Just, please, answer my calls. I want to hear your voice again. I want to ask you so many questions about life. I want to have a Cheol-hyung scolding me every time I feel down. I want you to spoil me again. I miss you. So much that it hurts. It hurts reading the letter of acceptance from Julliard knowing that I got it because I left you and the other hyungs. I want to say sorry. Again and again.

Hyung, was I wrong? Please, you need to tell me so I can go back. I miss you. Jeonghan-hyung, Jisoo-hyung, every one. I miss you guys. I feel so lonely. Empty.

Ahhh… I told you that I would tell you about my adventures here but I ended up writing another emo letter addressed to you. You might think I’m being a cheesy dongsaeng right now. Anyway, Hyung, please send me a reply this year, okay? Just once is enough. I just want to feel your care and love again.

I love you, Seungcheol-hyung.

Sorry.

 

Your Maknae,

Lee Chan

 


	2. Lee Jihoon, age 17

《Why do I take a breath

When I can't even breathe?

Feels like I'm being locked up with no means of escape?

Why do these chords tie me up in this loud library of songs?

I want to play, too

To laugh, to

Smile with you.

But I can't seem to move, I'm stuck at this world of responsibilities I didn't choose.

The gap between us widens

Us we become nearer to our debut.

What do I do, hyung?

It's so hard to build what's already broken, 

Find what's already lost and wandering.

What do I do? I can't call out to you 》


	3. Dreams

We are living this dream,

Of glamour and gleam.

Wrapped in our world,

With our members and fans.

We sing our hearts,

Dance our passions,

And rap our minds.

We sweat day and night,

To hear the screams and delight

Of our carats who are our lights.

But stars shine the brightest

When they are frail and dying.

 

Does that mean that the moment we shined the brightest is the moment we stopped living our dreams? I question myself this, every time of the day since Pretty U. Our first win seemed so far but the moment I touched the trophy it felt so real, surreal. Starting that time I felt that we can conquer the world, and we did. Every era after that felt like a tied rope around my neck, “Will this make me? Break me?” And the questions remained until Chan left the group. And I questioned myself again, was it my fault? Was the song I made lacking? Did our popularity died down because of the song I wrote? Was everything my fault? Was our success so little, so stagnant, that somebody had to leave? I guess I’ll never know the answer, however, I hope you’ll do in the future.

 

I’m leaving this dream,

All the things that we’ve built.

The friendship over the years,

Could only be measured by our tears.

Our hearts could no longer be in harmony,

Passions are no longer synchronized,

And our minds cannot find the same flow we used to have.


End file.
